


Cigarettes

by Ghosttcryptids



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26072887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghosttcryptids/pseuds/Ghosttcryptids
Summary: The Captain has been off lately, looking tired and sneaking off to alleyways to escape the stares of his crew, but Max has noticed.
Relationships: Male Captain/Maximillian DeSoto, The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto
Kudos: 16





	Cigarettes

**Author's Note:**

> hastily written late at night bc i wanted to feel better

“Er, Vicar, have you seen the Captain anywhere?” Parvati’s voice gently rang from the doorway of Max’s room, who was sitting at his table.  
“He’s not in his quarters?” Max said, only glancing up momentarily from his book.  
“No, he didn’t say he was going out...did he?” Parvati asked, which caused ADA’s voice to call from the cockpit.  
“The Captain left the ship 10 minutes ago.”  
Parvati and Max shared a quick worried look before Max sighed, getting out of his chair.   
“I’ll go look for him, he probably hasn’t gone far.” He said as he walked past Parvati and headed out of the ship.

\----

“You really shouldn’t be smoking those.” Vicar Max’s voice caught the Captain off guard, who was hiding in an alleyway in Stellar Bay, trying to stay out of sight if any of the crew came to look for him, which obviously didn’t work.  
The Captain jolted, almost dropping the cigarette he held so tightly onto before.

“Fucking hell, Max, don’t startle me like that!” He exclaimed, stealthily moving the cigarette out of sight. “I was just...getting some fresh air.”  
Max leaned against the wall opposite the Captain.  
“Fresh air? In Stellar Bay?” Max asked, his mouth pulled into a smirk. He quickly reached for the Captain’s hand, which the smaller man had tried to hide behind his back. Max looked at the cigarette, then back at the Captain’s face, who was looking away, seemingly afraid of whatever Max had to say. “You’re not gonna get fresh air out of that either.”  
“It’s the only way I can relax!” The Captain snapped, yanking his hand out of the Vicar’s grasp and pulling the cigarette back to his mouth. “Why do you give a fuck anyway? I’m nearly 40 and with how my life is going, I don’t think i’ll make it past 41!” The Captain’s hands started to shake and he began rocking on his feet, still looking away from the Vicar, who’s expression had softened.  
“Captain, you can talk to me at any-” Max started, but was cut off by the Captain.  
“I don’t want to!” The Captain growled, walking out of the alleyway and back to the ship.

Obviously, something was up. The Captain was usually kind and open and didn’t try to hide who he was, but clearly Max didn’t know everything, afterall, the Captain had managed to hide an entire addiction from him and the rest of the crew, and he was clearly hiding something more. Max had seen this before, people will be kind and happy before they reach a breaking point, before one grain of sand collapses the whole castle. He walked out of the alleyway and followed the Captain back to the ship.

\--

When the Captain emerged from his quarters and into the galley, he seemed happy and bright, chatting with Felix about the latest serial and sorting himself some food, but Max could see how red his eyes were and how tired he looked beneath that smile.

He’d have to be gentle.

“Captain, could I speak to you.” Max asked, leaning against the counter.   
“Mhhm, I’m all ears, Vicar!” The Captain responded, giving his typical bright smile before shoving a spoonful of saltuna into his mouth. Max leaned in closer.  
“In private, maybe meet me in my quarters after you’ve eaten?” Max asked quietly, he could see a slight show of anxiety in the Captain's face, but he just nodded at Max and quietly moved to the table to sit and eat properly. 

It was half an hour before Max saw the Captain show up at his doorway, fidgeting with the sleeves of his leather jacket.  
“You wanted to talk?” The Captain murmured, and seeing the Captain like this made Max’s heart hurt. What could cause a usually bright and happy man, someone who is loud and a bit egotistical at times, to be so...small, so afraid?  
“Yes, come in, Captain.” Max said gently, getting up and guiding the Captain to sit with him on Max’s bed, the Vicar’s hand not leaving the Captain’s shoulder.   
“Captain, I want you to know that you can tell me anything, you’re my friend.” Max comforted. “I’ve noticed that you’ve been acting differently than when I first met you and…” He paused for a minute, sighing. “And I'm worried.”  
“I don’t wanna burden you, Max.” The Captain lamented, avoiding the Vicar’s gaze, focusing on his own hands instead.  
“You won’t burden me.” Max assured. “You’re my friend, and friends help each other carry each other’s burdens.”  
The captain sighed and began.  
“It’s just, this isn’t what I wanted, to come out of hibernation and instantly be thrown into the hero role. I want to help but this isn’t how it should have gone. I’m a scientist!” The Captain let out a half hearted laugh. “I didn’t even know how to use a gun when I first got here and now i have to kill people?! I can’t sleep, and when I do, I'm plagued with nightmares!” All of a sudden, he was shaking and tears began falling from his eyes. “Life here was meant to be better than the one I left, somewhere I could recover and start again! My life on earth was shitty, Max.” He tried to stop himself from crying, but tears were falling faster than he could wipe them. ”My parents abused me, I wasn’t accepted for who I was and I am glad I don’t have to deal with that but...but.” The captain put his head in his hands and gave in to the sobbing.

“You just didn’t want more trauma to deal with, right?” Max consoled, pulling the Captain into a hug. “I’m sorry, captain, I’m sorry that this isn’t what you thought it would be but” Max gently pulled the Captain away and cupped the other man’s face with his hands. “You’re gonna get through this, you’re not going through this alone.” Max assured, wiping away the Captain’s tears with his thumbs.   
Max let the Captain rest against him for a while, until he calmed down, but the vicar soon realised the Captain had gotten comfortable and fallen asleep in his arms. The vicar smiled softly and slowly moved to a more comfortable position, with the Captain resting his head on Max’s chest. The movement must of disturbed the Captain, who held on tighter. 

“Thank you, Max.” He sleepily said before returning to sleep. It wasn’t long until Max soon fell asleep too, arms wrapped around the Captain.


End file.
